FOOD FOR TEENS: THE OFFENDER & THE OFFENDED

Dear teens, welcome to the month of May and I pray that the good Lord will show you favor throughout this month in Jesus name. Amen. How well do you you understand the gravity of offense? it is a trap, a snare, a stumbling block to lure a believer to fall into sin. A very dicey topic that should not be taken lightly.

There are two active participants in this game of offense and they are:

1. The Offender

2. The Offended

So basically what we are saying is that these guys are both at the giving and receiving end of offense. If I give offense, I’m the offender and if you receive the offense you are the offended. Guess what? The effect of that offense on both I the giver and you the receiver is grave for both of us, very dangerous, as dangerous as hell. Jesus didn’t mince words when he spoke against offense, He said we shouldn’t be either at the giving end or the receiving end of it but He told us that offense must come, we can not dodge it as long as we are in this world.

So, let us understand this two active participants according to the teachings of Jesus so that we can know how to avoid been neither of them.

The Offender: This is someone who consistently and intentionally tries to bring others down through offenses (either in the form of pain, temptation, harm, anger etc) and most times this is as a result of the fact that they’ve been offended in the past either by their victims or someone else. They have deep resentment in their hearts which they have refused to let go of. Offenses will always come to everyone as long as we are on earth but an offender is the door way through which offense comes, Luke 17:1 says, “Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come.”

A repentant offender cannot be categorized as an offender because Jesus told us of such people Luke 17:3-4 says, “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” An offender most times is not repentant and doesn’t see anything wrong in their actions but it is motivated by a deep level of hate or resentment, vengeance and from that root of bitterness in their heart they try to pollute others. Hebrews 12:15 says, “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” It is usually borne out of a need to avenge a wrong done to them.

These set of people are very dangerous people heading towards destruction and looking for as many people as they could drag along. From such people, desist. Jesus told us how to treat such people Matthew 18:8, “Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.” If you read verse 7 you will know Jesus is referring to people who bring offenses, He said CUT THEM OFF!!! No matter how important they seem to be in your life, they will ruin you, there’s nobody worth keeping in your life who has made themselves a stumbling block of offense in your life. Avoid them like a plague, don’t hate them, just don’t provide an enabling environment for them to keep causing you to stumble, love them from afar, pray for them for God to change them but steer clear.

Do you know how terrible the judgment of offenders are? Jesus told us this: Matthew 18:6 “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”Please note that not every perceived hurt or wrong doing is actually an offense, sometimes your own personal prejudice might just be the issue. For example, someone corrects you for a wrong action and you decide to take offense, you need to know that in such case, you are your own offender.

Before we go any further let me show you how powerful as a negative weapon offense can be: Proverbs 18:19 says, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” So please careful how you deal with people don’t be careless in your dealings as some might misunderstand your actions or words and take offense.

2. The Offended: like we stated earlier, offense is a bait, a trap, the offended is one who accepts that bait and allow the poisonous water of bitterness and hate enter into them because of someone’s bad behavior. They always seek to avenge evil done to them, or seek to have the last word in a matter. These are those who hold unforgiveness in their hearts, who watch to see evil repaid to those who did them evil. People in this category usual fail of the grace of God, they shut heaven out of their lives because they refuse to leave vengeance for the Lord. They hold on to past hurts like their lives depend on it but they fail to realize that it is a trap, the whole idea of the offense is to get them out of the grace of Jesus and as soon as they personalize the offense done against them, they become just as dangerous as their offenders. In all you do, please try not to touch anything that has to do with offense even with a long pole because it a poison that festers and kill slowly until that person ends up in hell and there’s no coming back from it.

Jesus gave the solution to avoid been caught up in any of the two categories: Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” If you offend your neighbor, knowingly or unknowingly, repent and ask for forgiveness, don’t be devil’s access way to bring offense to your neighbor. Mark 11:25 says, “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” If anyone offends you, instead of getting offended, forgive them and refuse to hold any offense towards any man. God bless you and have a glorious month ahead